Not only did I not win the sweepstakes, but I didn’t even bother to enter. I feel discriminated against.

“A brick on a stick could be licked like a lollipop.
”

“I just baked a cake in the shape of a door. Somebody’s knocking now, so let me …”

“She was a tall drink of water, and I was a glass half full kind of guy—half ful…”

“The most environmentally friendly last name is Green.”