Of all the flowers from a rose to a carnation, I’d die for reincarnation.

“I can go from zero to sixty in 59 M.P.H.”

“I should make a tongue condom shaped like an oven mitt, so my mouth’s spoken la…”

“I make believe like asexuals make love—alone, with cardboard tubes.”

“Do you find it erotic how my pants bulge in the crotch, where I keep my coffee …”