On the subject of how to make friends, I would give you some tips, but I just don’t have any. Oh, I have plenty of tips, but I don’t have any friends.

“Her shoes were so pink that if she stepped in bubblegum, nobody would be able t…”

“I’ll tell you love is like a pickle, and then I’ll reach my hand into the jar t…”

“I’m not descended from anybody. All my ancestors are ascending from me.”

“I made 100 dollars, or a Ben Franklin, today. And out of that I probably spent …”