Orafoura: You just used the bathroom, but did you wash your hands?

Me: No.

Orafoura: That’s gross.

Me: Why is that gross? I didn’t touch anything.

Orafoura: You touched your penis.

Me: You touch my penis too.

“She didn’t just disappear from my life—she had the audacity to die on me. And u…”

“I’m not courageous. In fact, when I shadow box I wear boxing gloves that are ou…”

“Sometimes I’ll read a book and feel it was written just for me. Then I’ll flip …”

“We were getting a divorce. But not from each other. Then we were going to get m…”