Our romance lasted a few months. I was so deflated the day I lost my air pump and couldn’t blow love into her life-sized body.

“The flashing black line on an empty Word document reminds me that my life is co…”

“I want to take a sponge bath, but first I need to take that sponge and wash the…”

“A blowjob is the only employment I can get. At least in a bathroom stall.”

“A blanket could be used to ward off warts. I tested it out last Tuesday on my A…”