People are so particular. Unlike animals, which can be lions, eagles, or sharks, people are only people. (Though some people can easily be mistaken for animals—namely politicians.)


“Thank God I have enough skin to cover my entire body. But just barely. If my pe…”

“I’m world famous. Throughout the globe—north, south, east, and west—there are l…”

“I keep my valuable things locked up. Everybody does. Therefore, criminals must …”

“Sometimes I’ll forget a utensil’s name, and I’ll say, “Give me that pointy thin…”