Pillow talk always puts me to sleep. I’d rather chat about bed sheets, which can be converted into capes.

“I am nine fifteen feet tall. I mean nine fifteen time tall. I measure height wi…”

“Sexcess—it’s about sex in excess and success all rolled up into one sweaty ball.”

“A brick could be used as a deodorant deterrent. Just ask any stinky Congressman.”

“Ears of corn can listen better than me when they’re still in the ground.”