Politics is all about showing you have integrity—and hiding the fact that you really don’t have any.

“Never sit on a freshly painted bench, or stand on a wet wall. That’s a lesson i…”

“My eyes were blurry from being in love, and my feelings were as furry as Bigfoo…”

“I can feel the weight of her love. It feels like a purse on my shoulder. When i…”

“I said it unto him who isn’t, and he wisely said nothing. Sometimes saying noth…”