Reading—it’s the third best thing to do in bed.

“Suicide pact: I’ll shoot you, and then you’ll shoot me.”

“I make my own cologne. It’s called “Sweat,” and it’s hard work making it. But I…”

“I don’t understand open relationships. My relationship is like a normal busines…”

“Come buy from me what you could rent elsewhere. Like a Like button or a wiggly …”