Respect is something that should be earned, like eyebrows shaped like windshield wipers in a stormy arcade evening. I like my respect with lots of elbow room and melted cheese on top.

“My wife and I make love every night, sometimes even to each other.”

“I carry on about how much you love me, and I carry on my love like it’s carry-o…”

“This core concept is so fundamental to her life that she even had a custom gran…”

“Be the cheeseburger you’ve always dreamed you could be. That’s the advice I’d g…”