Right now I have a milk mustache. I grew it on a cattle ranch, and then glued it to my face.

“I have an inconsequential errand to run tomorrow so I’ll get up at 5, be there …”

“I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. …”

“If I hung out with Van Gogh, I don’t know what we’d do. We’d just play it by ea…”

“If I owned the Grand Canyon, it would be my largest antique.”