Sharpies aren’t all that sharp. Not a great stabbing weapon.

“A great gift would be a cheap pen, mounted on a wooden plaque, with the accompa…”

“The last time somebody pointed out that cowboys ride horses, not tricycles, I s…”

“I was eight when I moved to Florida, and I thought, “Oh great, the retirement c…”

“Pulling your head out of your ass is better than pulling your head out of a law…”