She gave me her bedroom eyes. I know because we were in the kitchen at the time. I hope we’re having pigs in a blanket. Yum!

“My life outlook isn’t cloudy. That’s just the weather report for the rest of my…”

“With his spiked brown hair, he would have looked like a porcupine if he wasn’t …”

“My first and last name is like a candy bar in your mouth that you can chew on a…”

“I once met an asexual unicycle, but I wasn’t wearing rubber gloves so I didn’t …”