She said “I love you,” and I said the only thing I could say: “How about every other Tuesday?

“You tell me you love me, but I’m not sure you know what love is, or how fast it…”

“I am the bathtub of desire, but damnit woman, I saw you eyeing that swimming po…”

“Boy, when Grandma Wrinklebottom comes to town, you’d better hide your underwear…”

“If pens doubled as bullets, I bet few writers would want to write about war.”