She said, “What?” so I replied, “What what?” She gave me a look that said, “What what what?” and I didn’t respond because I fell in love with her.

“I told the tree it was going nowhere in life. It was hurtful, but true. Now, ma…”

“If I had a dollar for every time a random woman walked up to me and tried to se…”

“You wouldn’t try to mow your lawn with an electric razor, like it was a green b…”

“I am the archaeologist of love. I’m digging for the bones of a loved one I shot…”