She wanted to know if I loved her, so I texted her a picture of a dead bird.

“I like cardboard. Of course, I have to be in the mood to eat Pizza Hut.”

“The best way to guarantee you have a job tomorrow is to not finish all the work…”

“It’s not true I think all politicians are morons. Morons are far too intelligen…”

“The president spends most of his time playing golf and vacationing. But the tim…”