Some men eat dinner with silverware. Some use chopsticks. I prefer zippers.

“Water is like love, but love is not like water. No, because if it were, I’d be …”

“Sunday nights I get about two inches of sleep. But I make do, because that’s al…”

“Why watch reality TV when I can just open my blinds and look out my window to a…”

“A blanket could be used to conceal. That’s why I recommend the current cast of …”