Sometimes I get depressed about my age. In March I’ll be 26. If man weren’t measured in numbers, but rather letters, I’d be turning Z. And then I’d be dead.

“I killed him, but that doesn’t mean I enjoyed every second of every month of th…”

“I need to condense my adrenaline, carbonate it, sweeten it, and sell it as an e…”

“I want to move to Hollywood and audition for parts just so I can say, “I’m not …”

“My hand inside a glove is like a painting in a frame, and should be insured as …”