Standing in cat litter is not the same as walking on the beach. Trust me, you can’t pee on the beach.

“A blanket could be used to settle disputes. Hold my penis while I demonstrate h…”

“All books are coloring books, if you are in possession of a childlike imaginati…”

“He told me he had a wife and daughter, and then he showed me a picture of an 8-…”

“I wore a suit to the interview—a bathing suit. I didn’t get the job as a lifegu…”