Strangled or stabbed, which you rather have for dessert?

“Back in high school, I started a gang called “The Illiterates.” To easily ident…”

“Love is a bag of electric eels sleeping in a lagoon full of goons and legumes. …”

“I make believe like asexuals make love—alone, with cardboard tubes.”

“It’s important that my socks match. I don’t want anything that distracts from m…”