The American Dream is to not have to work, so with unemployment at record levels, you’d think more people would be excited and grateful for the government intervention that got us to this glorious economic point.

“When I was a kid, I was just a boy. But that all changed by my 18th birthday. N…”

“I feel like someone who has a parade named in their honor, and doesn’t get invi…”

“The ultimate gift is the gift of life. Please, accept this jug of semen as a pr…”

“My brakes sound like my horn, and my car’s bumper is bumpy enough to be brail. …”