The best part about having children is being able to point at them and proudly proclaim, "Hey, I made those.

“My couch is coffee-colored. I can thank Starbucks and clumsiness for that.”

“Blanket could be used to form a new word—tenkalb—which in turn could be used, o…”

“I can do a week in a weekend. That’s not how efficient I am, that’s how little …”

“Maybe I will buy my nephew an aquarium for his next birthday. It’s got to be be…”