The bottom of a cup of coffee is not as good as the bottom of her body—which is actually in the middle of her body.

“I saw a baby make a boom-boom in his diaper, and I thought, I’d never have susp…”

“I want to be a cowboy, but only long enough to barge into a saloon and bellow, …”

“There’s too much nudity on TV, and not enough on the radio.”

“I need to get my wedding ring resized, because it still fits tight around my ne…”