The commodity I sell is nonsense. Condiments sold separately. Ah, but that’s life, no?

“There’s fool’s gold—pyrite—and then there’s fool’s gold—gold owned by idiots wi…”

“I saw him do a No More Potatoes Dance, after he saw me stuff the last of the ma…”

“I want to be strapped to a table, while a family of chickens argues over who ge…”

“It’s a fact that when it comes to dating, men are all visual. Well, except blin…”