The cop wanted to know what was in the bag. I said, Another cop.

“Love is a winding mountainous road. Do you have an extra unicycle and handlebar…”

“Before job interviews, I think: What color tie best represents me as a person t…”

“I had a dream where I drank my own grandma. What she was doing disguised as a b…”

“After we made love, I didn’t want her to leave. At least not before she did the…”