The couch was green, so I felt comfortable wiping my boogers on it. I just wish it had been brown.

“The phrase “The cat’s out of the bag” tells that a secret’s been exposed to the…”

“I like watching people stretch in the park. It's my new favorite pastime since …”

“A blanket could be used as a tarp over one of those tiny circular inflatable po…”

“My mother always told me not to pick my nose, so I’m going let the plastic surg…”