The cucumber is just about the healthiest sex toy ever.

“You’ll drown in my love story, if I ever write it using a fountain pen.”

“His shelf. Good. Noodle dust. Decaying brain collecting dust. Must insert it ba…”

“I’m going outside to get a breath of fresh air. Anybody got a cigarette I can h…”

“Is my conversation putting you to sleep, or is the rufie I slipped in your dog …”