The earliest I’ve ever been late is on time.

“Be that as it may, it may be maybe”

“The only time I’ll eat Italian wedding soup is if I’m wearing a tuxedo and eati…”

“My nickname in high school was Catch 22. Not because I was a walking dilemma, b…”

“When I’m tired, I say, “I’m calling it a night.” Well, what else am I going to …”