The fastest way to lose weight is to find religion and start fasting.

“A flower blooms in my heart. You may call that love, but I call it water conser…”

“If my clone writes my biography, is it really an autobiography?”

“If love tasted like pork, and you were allergic to Francis Bacon, could I be yo…”

“I’ll write something that’s 111% true. It’ll be so true that it’ll be 100% fals…”