The internet's a great way to meet people. You never really know someone until you see their fake profile.

“The morning grass was damp and cool with dew. My yellow rain slicker must have …”

“I heard you calling out to me, but I almost didn’t reply because you were using…”

“Kick the blanket, don’t kick the bucket—especially if that bucket is full of de…”

“A brick is like fruitcake. You don’t want to use it up all at once, and in fact…”