The last time I saw love was in my imagination while reading a book on Thomas Jefferson. Isn’t the Constitution of the United States so romantic?

“My mother-in-law scared the hell out of me. But it’s cool, because the stench o…”

“His shelf. Good. Noodle dust. Decaying brain collecting dust. Must insert it ba…”

“What’s the halfway point on a burrito called? Sadness.”

“I won’t allow anyone to buy you a clock. Not on my watch.”