The legend of Sam, the homosexual hermaphrodite.
(The impossibility is half possible!)

“I may have written this before, but I may not have written it as well, so I’ll …”

“I think guns would be more effective if bullets worked like boomerangs.”

“A blanket could be used as a tarp to cover an outdoor swimming pool the size of…”

“I’ve got washboard abs. Go ahead, get rid of your dishwasher.”