The moment I heard her name I fell in love. Of course I fell in love with the wrong name, so I made her legally change her name to match that of my love interest.

“I wouldn’t want the guests at my birthday party confusing my celebration with t…”

“We made love like I make grilled cheese sandwiches. I had no idea what I was do…”

“If I wanted to eat leftovers, I wouldn’t have taken a dump in the Tupperware.”

“I was hoping you’d leave the back door open for me, I said as he turned around …”