The old me is younger than the new me, the me now.

“For your birthday, I got you a box. Hooray! It’s empty, so you can fill it with…”

“I saw an old guy sleeping, and I thought he was dead. But I kept checking his p…”

“I think you’re funny, and the toilet sounds like a soda can opening when it flu…”

“She had no mind, but I didn’t mind, because she had a body like an upside down …”