The only drink I like ice in is water, because you can’t water down water. I’m like that with love, too. Don’t you dare add any ice to the hot liquid loving I’m trying to pour all over you.

“My new mustache is barely big enough to cover my pubic region.”

“I removed all the doors to our love, so you can’t lock yourself away from me. B…”

“Being in love is like being lit on fire and having your loved one morph into a …”

“I’d rather jump in a tank with a tiger shark than make love to his right hand. …”