The only French I know is a kiss. I studied a lot of that foreign tongue in high school.

“Have an apple. It’s bruised. I beat the hell out of it.”

“Love is like war, except without all the blood and death and stuff.”

“If I only had five minutes left to live, I’d only be half as alarmed as normal,…”

“None of us nine with the sixes. That’s the tragedy of love.”