The quickest way to alter an altar is not with a hammer, or even religious deconstruction, but with a typo.

“I don’t just watch TV all day long. I also listen.”

“I ran over some dog poop on my drive home last night. But I didn’t feel bad, be…”

“I own nothing, but at least nothing owns me. Well, besides the bank.”

“I’m such a germaphobe that I think sanitation gloves should be thicker than box…”