The scent of your asshole smells like childhood memories. I mean it would, if I grew up in New Jersey.

“I yelled at my cat to knock it off, and sure enough, he did. And it broke.”

“To choose to chew, rather than converse with my fellow dinner guests, was the c…”

“If you take away my office, how will I get no work done?”

“I think I just inhaled a cloud. That’s what I get for not wearing a gas mask wh…”