The ultimate gift is the gift of life. Please, accept this jug of semen as a present from me to you. And don’t worry about sharing—I’ve got another one for your mother.

“I’m no Arnold Schwarzenegger, but I have the definition of a dictionary. If you…”

“I said if I get her pregnant, I’d get to name our kid. She asked what I’d call …”

“The political system, it’s a shame it’s a sham.”

“His name was Rodger Green, but people called him Red. Red Green was a man of st…”