The US is at a point where just when the people imagine things can’t get any worse, they realize their imaginations weren’t big enough.

“I'm not fluent in affluent. Still, I’m grin rich, and my smile stretches from y…”

“I wanted a ponytail for my 16th birthday, but daddy never bought me one. He tho…”

“A blanket could be used to attract a potential mate. I’ve already got my mate. …”

“The word "the" is 2/3rds he. I'm not being sexist, merely statistical.”