There are at least two sides to every issue, and I like my issues sunny side up. I also like bacon and toast on the side. Are you eating what I’m saying?

“For my birthday, a few of my wealthier friends got me a pot to piss in. Also, t…”

“After learning the foreign language Gibberish, I became a dream spokesman.”

“My eyes are so close together that when I cross my eyes, my irises actually tra…”

“I think the most romantic letter you ever gave me was “W,” because it’s a coupl…”