There’s a pubic hair in my soup. I’m pissed, because I paid for many more to be sprinkled on top.

“Oh, look, there are jobs available in Jacksonville! Today there are two jobs fo…”

“On Knowledge: You know that I know you know, but I want you to know that I know…”

“Too much coffee has been spilled in the name of war. Let us love and savor ever…”

“My coffee cup didn’t come with a sleeve, but that’s OK, because I’m wearing a t…”