There’s nothing nine-tenths about me as a person. I’m a 100% kind of guy, at least half the time.


“If you try a joke a second time and nobody laughs, don’t tell a different joke—…”

“I could see that she was eager to please and impress me, and I was excited to s…”

“I want to weigh less, not through diet and exercise, but by acquiring a faulty …”

“I drew a self-portrait of myself, drawn with my eyes closed from a memory someo…”