They sounded a lot like me and my old girlfriend Loretta, but I swore to myself that I would stop thinking about her ass, even though every Cleopatra-looking Latina in the city made me stop and wish she would come back to me.

“You try every trick in the book to keep her. You write her letters. You drive h…”

“You, Yunior, have a girlfriend named Alma, who has a long tender horse neck and…”

“Run a hand through your hair, like the white boys do, even though the only thin…”

“Maybe we met out here and fell in love over bad barbecue.”