This morning I ate a hamburger for breakfast, and then wept like a baby into an open jar of mayonnaise. I guess that’s just the champion in me.

“What’s with the zombie craze? Zombies are half alive, half dead, right? Sounds …”

“I’ve come a long way in the last year. 365 days, to be exact.”

“Love is orange, though sometimes it will make you blue. You might see that as d…”

“Large metal objects moving at high speeds have such an impact on me that I just…”