This world is nothing more than fresh white underwear, and I’m going to leave my mark on it.

“I just got circumcised, and to help the homeless, I’m going to make a tent out …”

“On a scale of 1-10, I'd probably be considered obese. Though I weigh much more …”

“Nine out of ten Jarod Kintzes agree that there is only one Jarod Kintz.”

“I love nature. It beats having to flush.”