To me, love is either a pebble, a rock, or a boulder. Or a grain of sand, if you’re trying to measure the love my ex wife had for me.

“It’s spring now, and I was just thinking that I haven’t been in love since the …”

“A brick could be used to double back, donkey levitate cough meow cough meow his…”

“I don’t believe in the zodiac. Whenever anybody asks me what my sign is, I alwa…”

“I want to go to the Olympics. But I don’t want to train, so who’s going to buy …”