Two guys, a man and a beast, were walking underwater, when two goats began fishing for political votes. That’s when I fell in love, when I saw how serious it all was.

“A blanket could be used to fix your broken marriage. You’ll also need duct tape…”

“Love is to beer as I am to drunk. And you say I’m not romantic. Shoot, I’m so r…”

“Control your temper, or it will control you. Sometimes even remotely, like a to…”

“I made plans out of hope, expectation, desire, and duct tape, and I broke those…”