We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)

“Before you enter politics, I pray you lose your anal virginity to a unicorn.”

“One thing my grandpa taught me was never fall asleep while swimming. Or, rather…”

“I collect nothing. The best part is, the less I have, the more I have.”

“I sure wish deodorant tasted like butter, because then I could keep mashed pota…”