We went sailing one time, and he wore a Speedo, and any smart woman should know that means bisexual at least.

“The world can be a lot bet­ter than we set­tle for. All you have to do is ask.”

“This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time”

“With the elevator stopped between floors, my view is about a cockroach above th…”

“Please don't feel hurt, Satan, but my parents raised me to believe you didn't e…”